Posted by: Kevin | September 22, 2006

How I Survive Children’s Television


Watching Children’s television can be a dangerous business.  First, there are the mindless jingles designed to lodge themselves in your head.  Then, there are the adorable cutsie characters whose cheery, carefree lives openly mock the hardships that many of us endure on a day to day basis.  Add to that the gratuitous marketing messages slipped into every show.  So that you have to dread the next trip to the mall, knowing you’ll get to listen to your kid whine about wanting some toy or other.  My kids don’t watch a lot of TV either, but even in small doses these messages can be damaging to the adult mind.

It takes a lot of imagination to combat these evils.  My advice, turn these shows into episodes of E! True Hollywood Story and have fun with it.

The Dora the Explorer Love Triangle 

                                                  dora.JPG

                                        boots.JPGswiper-the-fox.JPG

What started as in innocent cross species friendship between Dora and Boots, blossomed into love over the course of several seasons on the air.  But as the characters grew up, conflict emerged.  How could Dora reconcile her long standing love for Boots with her growing attraction for Swiper the Fox?  Could Boots deal with his own feelings of inadequacy due to his smaller brain and habit of throwing dookie?  Finally, would Swiper finally grow up or would he steal Dora’s innocence along with every thing else?  Find out next on E! True
Hollywood Story.

Elmo a Tale of Child Star Tragedy 

On the next E! True Hollywood Story, we follow Elmo from his days as a beloved childhood icon, through the disillusionment of his teenage years.  Stay with us as we chronicle the angst and anger that fueled his descent into drug abuse and petty crime.  This is the tragic tale of Elmo and the monsters who loved him even to the bitter end.

                                                          elmo.JPG
                                      “Elmo loves his crack pipe, and boosting cars
                                                             That’s Elmo’s World!”

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Responses

  1. Have you ever watched that Boobah (sp?) thing? I have to turn it off after like five minutes. I keep thinking I’ve suddenly become psychotic.

  2. I’ve only been able to stand a few minutes of that show myself. It’s like some bizarre hypnosis/mind control experiment aimed at young children.


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