Posted by: Kevin | September 25, 2006

My Beefs with MySpace

 

I opened up a MySpace account a few months ago for several reasons.  First, the idea of setting up a multi media website seemed pretty cool.  Also, it seemed like I could use it to “publish” a couple of short stories I’d written, do a little bloging and find some friends who I’d lost touch with.  Lastly, all the other kids were doing it and, what can I say, I wanted to be cool too.

I can’t say it’s been all bad.  I actually did find an old friend from college who I hadn’t talked to in ~5 years and we exchanged some emails.  Setting up my profile was fun.  You can now look at my vital statistics while listening to Curtis Mayfield’s “Superfly”.  I even got “added” by 2 of my favorite bands from my college days, Morphine and G Love. 

But that’s where the good ends.  There’s a lot not to like about MySpace.  For instance the fact that every time I go to the website I’m greeted by an advertisement for a dating site featuring this girl:
                                                   myspace-advert-5b.JPG
What part of Married with 3 kids is throwing off their advertising software?  I am not your target audience.  Furthermore, if I have to look at your ads then let me offer the following advice.  Obvious airbrushing jobs are not a turn-on for me.  And I hope those breasts were photo-shopped, because otherwise that poor girl has more silicon/bra padding in that shirt than actual breast. 

For future reference MySpace bots, if you’re going to insist on hitting me with dating site ads. 

                                                       myspace-advert-4.JPG
This is more appropriate.  Although she’s a little on the skinny side, she looks like an actual human being.  I won’t click on the ad but at least I won’t scratch my head wondering what the hell is wrong with the model involved. 
While I’m on the subject of the ads, what did I click on to deserve this as an ad on my home page?

                                                                 myspace-advert-1.JPG
Seriously, let me know so I never click there again.

 

Another beef I have is with bulletins.  This isn’t really MySpace’s fault but they are enabling this behavior.  Why must people spam these bulletin boards?  Newsflash, I didn’t give a shit about your “New Pics!!!” the first 3 time.  Why do you think I’ll care anymore when you sent that bulletin the 4th and 5th time?  Heres a good example:

                                     myspace-bulletins.JPGmyspace-bulletins2.JPG

This gentleman sent out four bulletins in less than 12 hours to deliver the following Earth shattering revelations:  “It certainly feels like Fall!” and “CHECKOUT MY NEW WEBCAM PICS, PLEASE!”.  He then followed up the next day to make extra sure I knew about his new webcam pics.

All right Mr. “I’ve Blacked your name out and practically broken my fingers in my haste to remove you from my friends list”, what the fuck is so important about your new pictures?  What life altering revelations will I be having as a result of viewing these pictures?  What’s that!?  There just pictures of you flexing at you computer screen with no shirt on?  That’ it?!  Pardon me while I go gouge my eyes out.

I could complain more but this post is long enough as is.

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