Posted by: Kevin | August 23, 2006

De-constructing the annoying blue October song, “Hate Me”

This song, “Hate Me” by Blue October has rubbed me the wrong way since it first hit the radio.  To add insult to injury, it seems to be on the radio every ten minutes.  It sounds more like the words of a manipulative asshole than someone genuinely sorry for his actions.  Finally, last night, this song played on the radio one time to many.  So this is my response.  Enjoy.

I have to block out thoughts of you so I don’t lose my head
I’m a jerk but I don’t like thinking about it.
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed
It throws my game off while I’m trying to bang your friends.
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I’m alone
Now I’m whining because I’m alone…
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home
and I watch too much porn.
There’s a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain
Again, I’m a jerk but I really don’t like thinking about it.
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?
It’s all your fault so please stop existing.  It’s for your own good too.
And will you never say that you love me just to put it in my face?
Please stop reminding me what an asshole I am
And will you never try to reach me?
If you don’t call everyday, I’m going to stalk you.
It is I that wanted space
Damn it I’m trying to run from my problems here!  Come save me!

Hate me today
Did I mention that I’m a drama queen?
Hate me tomorrow
Because if I really did want this I’d just stop talking to you.
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
Next time will be better, I promise.

I’m sober now for 3 whole months it’s one accomplishment that you helped me with   You finally ditched me so I cleaned up my act a bit.  Plus, I ran out of cash.
The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won’t touch again
I’m addicted to self-righteous whining instead.
In a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night
Thanks for enabling me to be a drunk asshole.  p.s. It’s all your fault.
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight
Beating myself up was a great way to keep all the focus on me.  See it’s still working!
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate
You bought into my bullshit.  See look how tragic I am.
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take
You fell for my martyr act.
So I’ll drive so fucking far away that I never cross your mind
And now I’m going to lead you on a wild goose chase…
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind
because I’m still a manipulative asshole

Hate me today
If I have to botch a suicide attempt…
Hate me tomorrow
In order to keep stringing you along…
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you
I will do it.  Don’t test me on this.

Hate me in ways
I’m going to expect…
Yeah ways hard to swallow
a making up blowjob from you.
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you
Then you’ll see that saving my worthless ass is what’s good for you. 

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave
Note, I haven’t left yet because I really have no intention of doing so.
Kicking shadows on the street for every mistake that I had made
Has my self abuse won you back yet?  No!
And like a baby boy I never was a man
Well this line will do it then.  See I was a boy before…
Until I saw your blue eyes cry and I held your face in my hand
but now I’m a man, and an asshole.
And then I fell down yelling “make it go away!”
I just don’t want you to figure it out that second part.
Just make a smile come back and shine just like it used to be
So please go back to being ignorant.
And then she whispered “How can you do this to me?”
Cause I’m an Asshole.  Oops wrong song 
Blah, blah, blah….
Hate me today

Hate me tomorrow
Hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you

Hate me in ways
Yeah ways hard to swallow
Hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you

Lyric pulled from

Significant inspiration for this post was taken from Joe Chats done at


  1. ROFL – sounds like you have known a few 4$$hole$ like this in your lifetime. I hope things have improved.

    • this guy is a legit retard, and i hope he dies. he doesnt understand anything about this song, and has taken a great artists work and ruined it with ignorance and poor critisism. all of you who agree need to listen to the song and understand what it really means. It’s him knowing he’s abusive with his bipolar disorder and how she’s too good for him, and she should leave. My friend has bipolar disorder, and I have schizophrenia. I know what he’s saying, but you retards are too ignorant to consider other things other than he’s emo and an asshole. I hope you all gain some knowledge, or die trying.

      • It’s gratifying to know that I’m still offending people with this post 5 years later. I’m not going to bother addressing the substance of your comment since I’ve addressed it about 800 times already. Instead, let me express my appreciation for being called a legit retard. You put some effort in there, well done.

      • It’s not about being bipolar and abusive, it’s about his drug addictions and what he put his mother through while addicted, thanking her for being there for him during all that and apologizing to her. The message on the machine at the beginning of the song was a real message from his mother, and when he heard that message, his mother hadn’t heard from him in months and that message was his wake-up call. It’s also his real mother in the video. His mom did for him what any good mother would do (as a mother of 2 children I understand this) and that would be to help them through anything. A mothers love is the most unconditional thing in this world.

      • So u got the whole thing wrong, not about being abusive DEFINITELY not about a girl, it was about him realizing his selfishness of his addictions. So you probably DIDN’T look up the meaning of the song you just took off with your interpretation of it. If you ever wanna know what songs are about Google the title, band and put the words song meaning at the end and you’ll find out what they really are about. All I did was Google Hate Me Blue October Song Meaning. It gave me a link to
        So before anyone misinterprets a song, educate yourself by simply browsing the web, all that info is at our fingertips, all we have to do is utilize it.

      • I feel disgusted by reading this and also completely baffled at how uncompassionate and ignorant people can be. How about you spill your ducking heart out and apologize for every bad thing you have done and then have someone bash on you and misinterpreted your true intentions. Sad..

      • I agree with you on the point that this song is pure art, just like all Blue October songs. However, the song is not about a relationship with a love interest, it’s about his relationship with his mother, and how his drug use and mental disorders made him difficult to raise.

  2. Funny!! Sounds a lot like my exH!

  3. LEH, Nadine, thanks for the kind words. Fortunately, I’ve never had anyone like this directly in my life. While I hated the song from the start, it wasn’t until I read someone elses account of an abusive ex that I said “oh, that’s why I hate this song so much”

  4. While I did laugh my ass off about your take on the lyrics, and they’re mostly true, it’s about the pain he’s caused his mother. He grows up and realises what an ass he’s been to her, the one person that was really there for him.

  5. hmmm, didn’t know the song was about his Mom. It doesn’t change my overall impression of the song though. It still sounds more like whinny manipulation than actual contrition. Glad you enjoyed it though.

    • You didn’t know the song was about his mom….? er. The voice message that is played before the song begins of Justin’s mother…? I guess you missed that part and jumped right into the song without giving it much thought. For as many times as you heard the song, I would have guessed by now you would have researched it a bit better first?

      • Well-said!!! That’s a real message from his mother on the machine, that’s his real mother in the video. You’re right, it IS about his mother and his struggles with addictions. The song Life is Beautiful by Sixx A.M. Is also about addictions, he overcame some serious drug problems and the lead singer is now supporting the cause for drug prevention.

      • Lmao. My girlfriend turned to me today while I was looking ridiculous and jamming to this song and goes “did you know this was about his mother and their relationship over time?”

        I probably gave her the dumbest “I’m sorry, are you for fucking real?” look known to mankind and she started laughing to which I replied “it says ‘this is your mother’ in the first five fucking seconds of the song, of course I knew that.” Ensue side eye glance for the remainder of the car ride wondering if she had hit her head sometime previously (as in every time she had ever heard this song….which I can testify has been A LOT).

        Now side eye glance to anyone else who didn’t know that as well. So odd.

        And I hope his mom isn’t giving him blow jobs. That’d be weird.

    • In the video his mother is dead and he is lamenting over what he did to her. He legitimately feels bad for what he did, but can never take it back.

  6. I´ve read your de-construction. I´ve read the lyrics. I´ve seen the video. Your opinion is funny, ok. An easy joke but the song is beautiful. You´ll grow, and discover why.

  7. Alright, the reason you hate this song is because you aren’t in this situation. I am–and no, I’m not some stupid emo drama noob who fakes problems, I have depression and a girlfriend at the same time…this song decribes my thoughts. Perfectly.

    The whole point is that he know he fucked up badly and yet she still stayed and helped him, and also he knows that he isnt the best thing for her…so he wants to sacrifice being helped to help her…

    But I bet its easier to understand when you’re in this position.

    • U r absolutely right! I just found this song about a month ago. I love it!

  8. Pablo, I’m going to respectfully disagree with you.

    Noobsauce, If you are legitimately suffering from depression, then I hope you are seeking whatever help is available. If not, then I encourage you to do so. I also hope that you recognize these thoughts as something other than a healthy desire to improve your girlfriends life. And yes, it probably is a lot easier to identify with the song if you’re in that kind of situation.

  9. Couldn’t agree with you more. to make matters worse this song follows a formula that every lame-ass wanna be artist has to attempt to succeed. he sings quietly, and then yells angrily. Good job buddy very original. This whiny bitch is the reason i hate most music today. I love your interpretation.
    And seriously if this song is the way that you truly feel right now. GET HELP!!!! don’t listen to this song it will just further exacerbate your fucked up life.

  10. I could not agree more with Ihatethissong – and don’t be a douche

  11. We all need to add some comedy in the midst of their tragic tales!!!! This is funny keep it up 🙂

  12. Please quit being so ignorant. If you took 2 minutes from your busy day (what with all your criticism and so forth) you would realize that he’s talking about his mom, which someone has already told you. Nonetheless, certain songs help people out, brighten their day, give them meaning to the thoughts they’re having of their own, etc.

    Well done for completely dissembling their song and making this band seem like complete jerks. If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it, and certainly don’t right about it!

    Hopefully you will realize that your words can be very demeaning when somebody takes you to court for libel. Good luck with your seemingly pathetic blog.

  13. Correction— I meant to use the word “write” but instead I used the word “right”. Sorry for any confusion!

  14. I don’t see how this blog can be “seemingly pathetic”? does that mean that it seems pathetic but you deep down admire him?

    How can such a depressing carbon copy song that sounds like every other song out there today help anyone? Seems like it would just encourage jerks and brats screaming for attention. We certainly don’t want to justify or promote this sophmoric behavior. The real question is why are whiny bitchy bands popular? Why do they all sound the same? Why do they all follow the same format? More importantly why would i want to listen to someone else whine?

    It didn’t take much to make this band look like a bunch of jerks because they are. We should add “sell outs” to that long list of reasons why this band and song sucks.

    Good luck with your “seemingly pathetic” but really underlying “kick-ass” blog.

  15. Thanks for the kind words people.

    Grow up, If this song brightens your day, then my seemingly pathetic blog is the least of your problems.

  16. Thanks LEH, I try.

    Sadly, these whiny bands will continue to prosper as long as there are whiny teenage boys who listen to them. I was like this once myself, although I my defense I was listening to Pearl Jam, Nirvana and Guns & Roses, not this crap.

    • you sucks youre stupid kevin

  17. Thanx Kevin. You made my day

  18. I stumbled upon your blog after hearing “Hate Me” and wondering what they were so frickin regretful for. I Googled critics and here I am.
    Even though the video is about his mom, you can interpret it to be about a bunch of stuff. But I must say, I did enjoy your interpretation of it. I don’t really care either way. But you did crack me up. I just get this funny stereotype in my mind of the emo Secretary of Treasury’s son on Wedding Crashers.
    ~And to those of you who are so darn offended by Kevin’s opinion in this blog- CHILL OUT! It’ll be ok. Just because he doesn’t care for a song that “brightens up your day” doesn’t make his whole blogging career pathetic! Geez – harsh!
    Thanks for keeping me entertained Kevin.

  19. Thanks Lighten up, glad I could entertain. As for negative comments regarding my blogging “career”. If a full time job and 3 kids cant keep me from writing, then someone being offended because I made fun of their favorite song has no chance.

  20. Kevin,
    I do like the song because it hits close to home a little. I didn’t like how the girl in the song makes efforts to “fix” the guy, and then he leaves her when he seems to get “fixed”. I stayed with someone who I never thought would quit the excess partying. He finally did, and I get to reap the benefits. He is a great father and dad, and I was there to help. I guess some girls like that roll.

  21. And I also think that the guy in the song really does want to get away from the girl in a way to start over with someone who doesn’t know he was ever a bad person.

  22. I waffle between liking this song because of some of the lyrics (you have to admit “crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed” is effective on multiple levels) and disliking it because—well, because the guy is a whining martyr, by which I mean that whole “hate me” thing is just an exercise in self-pity. The fact that it’s his mother doesn’t help; it makes it sound even *less* sincere. He wants his mom to hate him? PLEASE.

  23. I really don’t think it is supposed to be his mother even though the video depicts that. No one would hold their mother’s face in their hands.

  24. Kim, I cant comment on you particular situation but I know that there are plenty of guys out there who just need to grow up a little (or alot). Sometimes it takes the help of a patient female (such as yourself) in order to do that. That would certainly be the case for me. I’m guessing it was the case with your husband as well.

    However, someone screaming “Hate Me!” to the people he claims to love, is either an angst ridden teenager (this song’s intended audience) or a self-absorbed adict adult (my take on the song). It’s a free country though, and if this song reminds you of your own personal triumphs then that’s cool. Enjoy it and congrats on the personal/fmaily hapiness you’ve achieved as a result of those triumphs.

    Ev, I will admit that some of the lyrics taken individually, where evocative. They definitely capture my attention enough to get me to truly hate the song. That’s a rare feat, usually I just dont care enough to hate a song.

  25. I stumbled on this blog the same way Lighten Up did, and I thought it was so funny I sent it to a bunch of my female friends who have also dated this exact kind of self-absorbed asshole. I later saw the video, which is admittedly touching, but who’s to say the video depicts what the song is “really about”? It’s “about” whatever it means to each listener on a totally subjective level. And Kevin, your take in it is damn funny and extremely insightful. WTF are you trying to say about libel, Grow Up? People should not pretent do be attorneys online. It just makes them look like morons.

  26. Thanks for the kind words Mandy

  27. Hmm … okay, I’ve given it a little more thought, and I have to say that if this is indeed about his mother–well, then there’s a strong Oedipal undercurrent going on that takes freaky to a whole new level.

    Kevin, put me on the list of people who love your line-by-line deconstruction of this song.

  28. Ev, done and thanks.

  29. In an interview with the frontman:
    “It was a great release. My whole life, I’ve always been the guy who writes songs about as bluntly honest as I can. Having my Mom in the video was just so true to the fact. To me as an artist, I couldn’t have had anyone else do it. It was just so brilliant. There were so many issues that I had to go through, like drug addition, that my Mom had to go through with me and all that stuff…there were really some awful times…
    …I wanted to show that your Mother could die while you’re in an alley and you’d never even know. ”

    Hes contemplating due to her age that “what if she dies and I never have the chance to tell/show her…”
    Hes regretfull that he wasted most of his mothers life by the selfish actions hes taken (friends over family etc) and he also fully realizes that shes not gonna be around forever…
    In the beginning of the song it starts off with him (as a child) singing with his mom in unison, obviously a rememberance to better times.

    Seriously guys/gals a D- literature student could have figured this out. Repeat after me everyone “stay in school, stay in school”.

  30. Listen said: “Seriously guys/gals a D- literature student could have figured this out.”

    Actually you’re right. A D-Literature student would probably spend a lot of time watching videos and interviews with the frontman and would thus know his intent. However for those of us who heard this song on the radio, without the assistance of the video and countless interviews, it’s less than obvious. Just read the words to the actual song and tell me it’s clearly about his mom.

    Also, I’ve got to ask. This is his appology? I know “Hi Mom, I was an asshole and made your life miserable. What can I do to make it right?” propobably wouldn’t play as well with the teen angst crowd but he can do better. I’m saying this as a parent, if you love your kids, then you never stop loving them. So saying, “just Hate me” to your mom (or Dad) could be just as hurtful as saying, “I hate you”.

    Lastly, I’d like to see a transcript of the interview you quoted and take that apart line by line. Because the part you quoted was a steaming pile of bullshit.

    “I write songs as bluntly honest as I can.” Really, how original. I don’t think any other front man has said that, ever. Thank God this guy is fighting for artistic integrity by making a song spefically designed to appeal to angst ridden teens. Teens who just happen to make up the bulk of the MTV’s audience.

    “I wanted to show that your mother could die while you’re in an alley and you’d never even know.” Oh, you wanted that so badly that you wrote a whole song about wanting to disengage from someone you love. It’s either that or he’s not serious about the words “Hate Me”. Which makes this a whining play for pity. I’m not sure which I have more contempt for.

    One last thing, I get it that it’s his mom now. I wrote this a month ago people. I still hate this song and I am deeply grateful that it is played on the radio less often. Their new song on the radio isn’t nearly as annoying.

  31. Seriously this guy is an asshole. How full of himself could he be to say that he is always bluntly honest. He is a fucking sell out with really NO artistic talent. he wrote a song that sounds like every other song. NO artistic talent. If you read the words it doesn’t sound like his mom to me. fucking Momma’s boy is hiding behind her. the lyrics appear to be about a wife/girlfriend. that being said Kevin couldn’t be more right!!!

  32. In April, I lost a very special man in my life in a car accident. This song sums up him in a nutshell and reminds me of him every time I hear it…BUT…He had a sick twisted sense of humor and I know for a FACT he would have “HATED” this song…I laughed so hard when I read your rendition that I had to comment on it. You would think he was a jerk, but that was just what he liked to project. Good work and thanks for the LAUGH (I haven’t done much of that lately)! ;o)

  33. Radical, I’m sorry for your loss and glad I could make you laugh.

  34. its the singer of blue october here and I wanted to say that its hillarious how you’ve taken so much time and energy to focus on my song.. I agree with the right to an opinion .i just laugh at the fact u spend ur time on this…couldnt u be doin something more constructive like getting off ur comp. and maybe seeing the light of day….wait….no the publicity is great….u guys r fucking funny….thank u for ur honesty ill try to take it to heart and let it deeply effect me……

    Admin Note: Leave a discussion open long enough, and a troll will appear. I’m leaving this message up to make a point. If you want to disagree with me that’s fine. If you want to make fun of me, that’s fine too. But if you’re just here to troll, then a little creativity and humor would be appreciated. This comment, sadly, is neither entertaining nor original and is a sad reflection of its author

    • Some could hear Jesus and many couldn’t according to the book of Mathew. Actually the 8th chapter of John is a clear illustration of the ears that can not hear. It is not parallel on many levels but on a homogeneous understanding neither can the majority of the masses hear Justin’s message. Out of the ashes of Justin’s trail of flames he holds more head’s up with his music and heart felt words than the ordinary will ever comprehend or ever know. I have met Justin on several occasions over the years and he would be the first to admit he has some major blemishes. One thing he is that most men cower in comparison to is a man strong enough to face his fears, his emotions and lay them before all to see. As all of us may or may not have hearts of gold he smelts his under a wide angle lens giving many the opportunity to love and live a fuller life.

  35. umm do you guys even know what the song is actually really about? coz it seems like you dont got a clue via your comments 🙂

  36. Kevin, you’re retarded… how does this sentence:
    Nonetheless, certain songs help people out, brighten their day, give them meaning to the thoughts they’re having of their own, etc.

    mean that this song brightens my day? I did not say that. I said some songs help people out, but did not implicate myself. You’re right, you’re soooo good at de-constructing and finding out what things really mean, aren’t you?

    Well done.

  37. I’m not really into this blogging thing and I really don’t care whether you love or hate this song… I’m definitely an advocate of having an opinion. Just a little food for thought though (and this is in response to a lot of the comments left on here); Think about someone in your life that you love or have loved. I’m sure all of you have had that one person who you have so much compassion for and feel so deeply for that it hurts. Now consider how you would feel if you hurt them repeatedly and they never gave up on you or saw the bad in you… in some corner of your mind you would want them to hate you. Now, for the most part that is a selfish wish because it definitely makes things easier on you, because now you don’t have to deal with the pain and guilt of failing them all the time, on top of everything else you are dealing with in a destructive lifestyle (I’m referring to the lead singer Justin). Also, and this is just a theory, I think that the relationship between love and hate is being looked at too narrow-mindedly. Generally people think of it as a spectrum moving from love to like to indifference to dislike to hate, right? This puts love and hate as far away from eachother as possible. To me it makes much more sense to think of it as a compass- where love and hate are the equivalent of 360 and 0 degrees and everything in between is, well, everything in between. For anybody that has loved someone with everything they have, there is always that part of you that hates that person for making you so vulnerable and dependent on them reciprocating. So love and hate come hand in hand, not sword to sword- and guess what? It’s not a bad thing…
    So however you want to apply what I’ve said to this song, or even to your life, that’s great. And if not, that’s great too. It’s just fun to think about!

  38. “Grow up” sounds like he(or she) needs to GROW UP! EVERYONE has the right to their own opinion. We are not BORGS. But to BACKSTOKE from a statement, then condemn it by REFERRING “it isn’t me” tells me maybe I shouldn’t listen to this. Sorry. I said I listened to the song, and I do “LIKE” it. Reminds me of someone I cared about tremendously , HOWEVER, that someone definitely would have had the OPPOSITE opinion that I do. I certainly wouldn’t have called him RETARDED. OF course that is my opinion! ;o) As for the Pseudo lead singer, I agree wholeheartedly with your “admin comment”, Kevin. Bet you didn’t think this would get such a riposte for so LONG! I have been checking back from time to time to be entertained. Which means keep up the good work!

  39. Food for Thought, interesting points on Love/Hate. Hate me is still a shitty way of saying I’m sorry though.

    Radical, yes I’m very suprised to still be getting responses here and thanks

  40. Bravo to your witty analysis. It busted my ribcage =). The answering message of his mother at the beginning of the song states he is taking medication. The message could’ve been an attempt to prove authenticity. I think a song like this helps people who are feeling similar to the lyricist, even helps people contrive a feeling similar to the lyricist. I bet your analysis holds water for many ambitious song-writers trying to cash in on their personal angst.

  41. A lot of your little comments don’t even make sense, being that the song is about his mother. Before you criticize something, take the time to learn a little about it. Otherwise you come off sounding pretty ignorant.

  42. Mindy, I judged this song as I heard it on the radio. Meaning, no intro answering machine message, no MTV video and no interviews with the singer. Read the lyrics without any preconcieved notion of what the song is about and then tell me it’s obviously about his Mom and not a lover or a wife. Read the comments, I’m not the only one who saw the song this way.

    The fact that those embelishments had to be added (the answering machine message, etc) after the fact would lead me to believe that either a – the singer realized that he wasn’t very clear in his intent for this song and wanted to clarify or b – the singer just changed his mind.

    Haleoanodon, thanks for the kind words. Glad you liked it.

  43. I have been passively reading this blog from time to time. Several times I have typed up my comments only to delete them. I may not be the best at expressing my feelings and understanding of this song, but I know the pain all too well of “Hate Me”.
    Sadly but true, this song could have been written by my 33 yr old son to me. This has been our life for the past 13 years.
    Perhaps you would have to live a life like ours, and obviously the writer of the song has lived it, to fully understand the love/hate but no escape relationship of a mother with a son/daughter who has fought additions over the years.
    I would love to leave him but I love him. I hate him but love him. I am the only one that hasn’t walked out on him. I have been by his side countless times during withdrawals, will spare you the details, but it’s all in the song.

  44. Mom that knows, If you haven’t already, I strongly recommend you check out Al-Anon. This page provides links and information for other groups which help families deal with substance abuse. Good luck, you have my sympathy.

  45. Kevin,
    Thank you for the advice/sympathy. I joined Al-Anon a few years ago, haven’t been recently. It is a wonderful support group! I admit I haven’t attended for a few years now…..

  46. No matter what the song is about, its beautiful.

  47. Ehh…
    I think you’re looking at the song the wrong way.
    My brother and I listened to it and thought it was about a guy feeling bad for his mother because he comitted suicide. And he regrets the fact that he did it because it hurt her so much. This song is so sad if you look at it this way. But it’s better than being pissed everytime you hear it.

  48. I’ve heard others say this song is annoying. I personally enjoy it. However its not even close to the best song on the album. The album is solid from start to finish which is rare these days.

  49. Hey i heard from a friend that this song is about his addiction and how he made his moms life hell but he told me he did this to show that he is sorry but what i wanna know is at the end he goes to a grave yard now is his mother dead already? because thats what my friend said but anyways i love this song… laters

  50. So i have to say reading this well yea ill agree with everyone it does make you laugh but if it was happening to us we probably wouldnt be laughing but whats it matter. its just a song. Kevin you have some nice views keep up the stuff, ill look forward to reading more. to everyone else im not here to offend just here to talk i guess lol anyways later

  51. first of all the song is an apolgy to his mother (rest in peace) who has passed and the very first part of the song is a recording of his mother checking in on him. And I happen to be a huge life long fan.He actually suffer from bi polar and depression a mental illness that he shares with all through his music his therapy.and kev you need to look UP some new material your Words are truly shallow, and lack personality

  52. Monica, If you’re going to take the time to comment on a post written nearly 3 months ago, please take a few minutes to scan the comments first. There you would have learned the I now know it is about his mom. Yet that hasn’t changed my opinion of this song.

    Saying “just hate me” is not an apology. If the singer thinks it is, then he does not get it. It’s still all about him in his mind. The song, to me, is all about escaping his guilt, not by trying to make things right but by disengaging from the situation. He’s still taking the easy way out.

    If you want to look at the situation and decide that this singer is a heroic victim, then be my guest. For my part, I’ve got a great deal of sympathy for his Mom and I think this non apology is a slap in her face.

  53. I know this is a late comment, but I am currently going thru some major turmoil with my boyfriend who is hooked on coke and I left him because we have a child together. When I hear this song, I am not giving sympathy for him at all due to the decisions he makes, however, his mom was the one who kept him a boy. She is co-dependent and an enabler. I can understand a little bit where Justin is coming from, I think he means ” I know your my mom but just hate me a little bit so you can focus on yourself and not pay so much attention on me.” And the lyric that says when he’s crying out “make this go away” and she replies “how can you do this to me”. She turned it around saying “how can you do this to me?” because its about what I do for you and not what you do for yourself b/c I haven’t allowed you to figure it out on your own. Anyhow that’s my two cents. Have a good one.

  54. Um… you do know this song wasn’t about a girlfriend, but to his mother, right?

  55. And you guys are telling me that arguing on a blog and bitching about a song isn’t acting like an angst ridden teenager?

  56. Kevin let me say sorry in advance for stringing this along but I think the discussion has been enlightening. I always thought of music as a “FORM” of entertainment. That being said, everyone is “different”. One persons perception can be drastically different from someone else. I do not personally like music “videos”. Call me OLD SCHOOL? Believe it or not, I LISTEN to music (SOMETIMES WITH MY EYES CLOSED :o) . So be it about Mom, Girlfriend, Boyfriend etc it is what I HEAR. That is part of what I love about music. I do KNOW I am not an “angst ridden teenager” (I did have a couple of those once thou) and I don’t look at this as arguing or “bitching”, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Anyone that thinks they aren’t are probably half my age thou! TeeHEE!

  57. hi,this is my favorite song.I dont now u but its a sad story…

  58. So is “Hate Me” a confessional?

    It’s a confessional to a person I was in a relationship with that I really screwed over with drug addiction, lies and selfishness. But it’s not just about a girl and a boy anymore – it’s a broader aspect of me looking at myself and going, “Yeah, you screwed the relationship up, but it didn’t start there. It started with you and your mother and your father and all the stupid shit you would do and lie about.” It’s not just about love and loss. It was about, “I’m such an awful person, and I really need some help.”

    Your songs have so much depth to them because of that honesty and that obsession.

    It is weird, when I hear other bands, they have angst and I respect them for doing it their way. But I am at a point where I never care what people think of the songs. I am trying to do this for my own therapy so I don’t have to go pay a shrink any more, man! I don’t have health insurance, so you can imagine taking meds and going to a shrink! Why not just write an album about it? Damn!

  59. Sigh, You know, in the 3+ months since I wrote this, I’ve posted a ton of other stuff on this blog. Some of it is actually interesting (admittedly, not all of it). Yet what do people want to read about? This Goddamn song. *pauses to bang head against desk*
    My beef with this song has nothing to do with whether it’s about his mom, his lover or his cat. It’s about calling this an apology. The feeling I get from this song is “If you just hate me it will be OK because then we’ll be even.” The problem is, as anyone who has been on the wrong side of this kind of relationship could attest, life doesn’t usually work that way.

  60. hey u guys are cool

  61. I just discovered this song- heard it on the radio (which I almost never listen to) and then found the vid online.

    In reply to Kevin’s primary point about this being an apology- I don’t know if it’s an apology so much as it is a confession- he’s spilling his guts. I think the feeling behind “Hate me” is this:

    When you’ve been a giant a**hole, destroyed your life and wrought havoc on the lives of those who love you, there’s an incredible amount of guilt involved. You hate yourself but these people love you for no reason that you yourself can discern. When you’ve been that low, it’s hard to think anyone can love you, and the fact that they do just increases your pain- it makes you have to think about the value of your life and the pain your destructive behavior is causing them. If they would just hate you then at least everyone would agree and you could go ahead and kill yourself. But their love is making you wrestle with issues you just don’t want to face.

    It’s like he’s saying, “I’m under this incredible weight of guilt and shame and it’s even worse because you loved me and I sh*t all over you (i feel even worse about myself). I don’t want to hear that anyone loves me- I just want to go on hating myself, but now you’ve died and I actually have to come to terms with the whole f***ing mess.” It’s called antipathy- he’s actually saying “thank you for loving me, because even though it made me feel guilty, your love actually got me through.”

    Definitely not healthy. Definitely damaged. And it’s popularity is indicative of a larger problem with young people and the health of families in this generation.

  62. Recovering,

    In the three months or so of people commenting on this post, yours makes the most sense by far. It’s a much better explaination than those given by commentors above and the lead singer himself. Thank you for sharing and good luck on your continued recovery.

  63. My 18-year-old son is in an awful place right now. He is at the deepest bottom of a major depressive episode, and his doctors now think he may be bipolar — mixed state, the most difficult kind to treat, and the kind at the highest risk for suicide. He is a senior in high school, and until the last marking period of his junior year was an A-B student. He began doing poorly the end of junior year, until now, he is failing almost everything. Right at the time he was applying to colleges.

    Unfortunately we did not recognize the symptoms, even though he had been in a depression years ago (that whole story is for another blog I guess). My point here is this:

    A few weeks ago he asked me to listen to the lyrics of two songs. “Hate Me” and “Still Frame”(Trapt). I didn’t know either song (I’m 47!) and they’re not exactly my kind of music. But OMG, I listened, and simply bawled my eyes out. Here he was describing the hell he’s been living (“Still Frame”), and apologizing for the hell he’s been putting me, and the rest of the family through for the past year (“Hate Me”).

    He has a hard time talking about his feelings. Always has. We can talk about so many things, intense, powerful, intelligent conversations. But what he’s feeling, he’s not so comfortable with. But here are these two songs, that even though they may be difficult for me to listen to, are cathartic for him. He could say, “Mom, I’m lost here, I’m scared, and I’m lashing out at you, and I’m sorry”, without doing it himself. (Depression isn’t always a “sad, weepy” state, it’s often (especially for adolescents) an edgy, irritable, angry state, and those closest to the person are often the recipients of all of that. I am.)

    I don’t know if you’ve never been in the shoes, or the hell of the artist, if you can possibly feel this song. I’ve heard my son play it over and over and thought nothing of it. But now after listening to the lyrics, I cannot hear this song without sobbing. My heart aches for my son, but also for the singer and anyone else who identifies with this song.

  64. I’ve just written a very heated and extremely affensive article to add that was insulting everyone.., but by the time I finished it I had cooled down enough to lighten up and deleted the whole thing. And I just want to add that I am stating everything as my personal OPINION, I’m am not under the belief that I am smarter than everyone else and think everything I say is fact.
    Someone mentioned that the lead singer is a whiny, self-pitying, and so forth. You people should get a few facts straight before you start pitching stones at a man’s eyeball without knowing a thing about him. You don’t know that he is very fond of painting. he mentioned in an interview that he loves painting more than song writing because his true feelings and emotions come to life more graciously than through words. That alone tells me he is a very complicated, deep minded individual. And obviously very artistic. Now I don’t mean to affend, But I don’t think the folks that speak negatively about him and this song do not understand anything about deep, artistic and reserved people. I bet that if you put a very serious and emotional poem or portrait in front of them that their first impression(and last) will be, “What is this shit?! It’s just a bunch of rediculious crap that doesn’t mean a damn thing.” And that’s because they are closed minded, cynical people that have no compassion anymore. And mostly all natural life are inclined to demorilize, ridicule and condemn that of which they don’t understand or is defferent from them. People that have to really fight depression aern’t like that to get attention, or whine or want pity, they just want to be left alone. But if you have to judge them all they want is a little understanding that things don’t just bounce off them, but knock them flat on their ass, with the wind knocked out of them and they have to catch their breath, get back on their feet, brush themselves off all while the guy/girl right next to him/her is now 30 yards ahead. I’m sorry you people can’t understand us(yes, me too) and its mercy for your closed, hardened soul that i give you. And I apologize for affending anyone. I really am sorry if I have.

  65. And sorry for spelling “offend” and related words incorrectly with an “a”.

  66. i lived with an abusive bf for a year with alcohol probs ( i m out of it now) and i can tell you that the feeling –subject of this song— is very real and aggressive and that song hits me directly everytime and takes me back and forth to that period.i like it, it is raw.

  67. LOH, you seem to be saying that because I (and anyone agreeing with me) don’t understand the lead singer that I must, by extension, not understand anyone’s situation. That’s painting with a pretty broad brush. I’ve learned more of the story behind this song and I’ve developed a great deal of sympathy, for his mom. As a parent I just do not understand how the message of “Hate Me” can be in any way comforting except as “Recovering” said above, as a confession. It’s still really damaged though.

    Now, if you don’t mind, I have to go kick some puppies and steal candy from babies.

  68. i would never dare to judge or say that, u,a person that i uncovered through this blog 0.00000001% part of his personality, dont understand ….i m just pointin out that, i, as a person who lived excatly that situation, was completly pleased by the accuracy of the feeling transmitted by this song and lyrics and that it paints(as painting in a shy made its entry in the pic now) in a very precise and accurate way a state of mind that is pretty much complex and vague.over and out. nice blog. and very funny song review as i obviously forgot to mention.cheers

  69. Post a Comment, my last comment was directed towards “Last Open Heart”. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to make of your initial comment except to say that I’m glad to hear you’re not with abusive BF anymore.


  70. You actually have no life to sit here and find new lyrics to this song. so you’re the one that’s pathetic…. and its an amazing song.

  71. I have to ask, why go through all the trouble just to write what’s in comment #70. Seriously, that’s the best insult you could hurl? Either you’re not very bright or you’re insulting me with your lack of effort. I honestly feel I’m worth at least a “You’re FUCKING RETARDED!”, but I’d really prefer something more thoughtful and demeaning. After all, this blog reaches literally tens of people each day. Why not show off your cutting wit and stunning intellect.

    • This reaction to the previous comment was worth my time scrolling though each comment up until this point. I’m done with this thread but feel I should check out some of the other topics and will as soon as I post this. Keep up the sarcasm. I find my kids help keep me sarcastic and funny. Without them I would be boring but I am sure if you asked them they already think I am. I promise you though if any of them ever said hate me I would kick them in the stomache and then say “no thanks a kick to the stomache will do just fine. Now stop acting like a fucking retard and apologize properly.”

  72. i hope you know that this song is about his mother.

  73. this song was written by the frontman of the band about how he stuggled with drug abuse and yet his mother still stood by him even after his deep depression. im glad all you assholes get such a kick out of it and its a great song.

  74. you have WAY too much time m’dear-try taking up knitting

  75. you have way too much spare time m’dear-take up knitting?

  76. i have to say, even though i LOVE this song i thought youre de construction was hilarious!! it pretty much described in every way a guy i used to be friends with. made me laugh herendlously [sp?] . good job :]

  77. Kate, sadly I tried knitting and although my quilts sold well on eBay, it just didn’t pack the same level of emotional fullfillment as blogging.

  78. I, like many other listeners, originally thought this song was about a girlfriend/wife. However, after further research into the lyrics, I learned it was about his mother and his addictions, which, upon further reflection, actually made more sense to me. I don’t feel that this song is an apology. I think the singer’s statement “hate me” is his way of saying that hate is all he deserves from her for the hell he’s put her through.

    I don’t agree that Blue October is a “whiny band” – I’ve listened to a few of their albums and think that what they lack in actual musical ability, they make up for in their evocative lyrics. However, I appreciate your interpretation as another viewpoint of this particular song. Thank you for sharing it.

  79. wow… its just a song. lol. so this Kevin guy hates it.. big deal. whether you love it or hate it, the song is gonna be around for a while. haha. it is a catchy song, i learned the lyrics from hearing it 8 million times a day, but wow, to see people get so offended by someone else’s opinion, its really funny. Kevin’s rendition of the song was quite amusing. since i’ve heard this song at least 5 times a day, i was curious to see what the song interpretation from the band was, and i found this blog, and it’s pretty interesting. so yeah thats all i’ve really got to say about that…

  80. I knew Justin in school and he has always been an asshole. I doubt that much of what he does is sincere. But isn’t that true of so much of music today anyway?

  81. It really sucks that you picked this apart this way. The guy wrote it for his dead mother, who died when he was in rehab. He couldn’t make it to the funeral, because he … was in rehab. so he put the last phone message she ever left him into a song and sang for her.


  82. So let me get this straight, someone takes advantage of his mom for his entire life. He does nothing but take take take from her when she’s alive. Then, once she’s dead, he “discovers” what an asshole he’s been to the tune of a multi-platnum hit song with a completely fucked up message. And I’m the prick? I’m completely sick of people crying for this guy. All of his (highly profitable) remorse isn’t doing a damn thing for his mom.

  83. i just think that you do not understand the song. It is about his mom and how he treats her but also it is about depression. It is meant to put insight into how it is to suffer from depression. He is not trying to get his mom to forgive him. He is doing what artist do, expressing what he is going through and dealing with in his song. People write about happy things when they are happy and sad when they are sad. A good artist and song writer will try to make you feel that emotion that they feel at the time no matter what that emotion is. Not to meantion that you completely did not know it was about depression or his mom. Do a little research before you try to break down the meaning of a song. hope the criticism does you no wrong. and btw you should check out some of the bands other songs they are great!!

  84. I normally don’t ever post but I found this blog very interesting. I read every comment. I must say that I personally like Blue October because in ways I can relate to almost every song. But that doesn’t make me a bad person. Kevins interpretation of this song doesn’t make him a bad person. Its simply his opinion. I won’t say whether its good to write about such things or not but depending upon the person, songs like this can be theraputic. I’m myself am an artist who works with several mainstream bands and the media. Even though music, televsion, and media is over rated, as an artist, the one thing I do know is that art is interpretive.

    I fully relate to this song. If I want to take the relationship side of things:
    I thought I found my soulmate and got married at 18. While I was faithful and working hard trying to make a living, my wife was getting down with others. I set her free to save myself and so she could lead the life she wanted. Will she hate me today or tomorrow? Who knows.

    As far as the mother interpretation:
    My first childhood memory is knowing my father had cancer and was dying. He was on his death bed and would become violent. During those days, my father and I never got along. I was 14 when he pulled a gun out and pointed it at my head and said, “I’ll kill you, I fucken hate you.” So what choice did I have. I had to leave and I abandoned my mohter and sister to save myself. I never spoke to my father again. Shortly after, my father commited suicde. His last words haunt me forever. I feel guilty forever for abandoning my mom. Does my mom hate me today or tomorrow? No. A major key to life is forgiveness. My mom forgave me for leaving. Much harder, I had to forgive myself for my mistake.

    As far as the depression interpretation:
    I’ve been on my own since 14. I’ve lived on the streets, moved from town to town, city to city. I am a manic depressive bipolar. I turned to substance abuse to escape. I overdosed and was D.O.A. for 10 minutes. I’m thankful paramedics were able to revive me. I sought help. Doctors had me on every kind of medication to keep me stable. I was a vegetable for 6 years. My girlfriend at the time stood by my side, held my hand and held my head up. I had to step out of myself in order to get better. I told the doctors to kiss my ass. I slowly detoxed myself off their poison. Suddenly one day I snapped out of it. I was normal again. 16 years later we’re still together and I have a beautiful 15 year old daughter. Does my wife or my daughter hate me today or tomorrow? No. As a family, do we have regrets? Who doesn’t. We’ve learned to move on together.

    As for now and the future:
    I’ve been drug free for 16 years. I draw and paint. All though the subjects I CHOOSE to draw aren’t flowers, blue skies or doves; those types of drawings allow me to extract negative thoughts and express how I’m feeling. I only show my art to those who ask to see it.

    I’m sure my message will get bashed. Thats ok. Thats just a part of life. I will think no less of anyone.
    I thought just maybe my story would help others step out of themselves and see things from another mans shoes.

  85. Brighter Days, You went through hell and now it sounds like you’re doing the best you can for the people who loved you the most when you needed it the most. You wont see any bashing from me.

  86. At first I thought this was about a man, who’s girlfriend stood by him while he drank his life away.. and when he finally sobered up he realized what he had done to her, and was doing whatever he could to get her to hate him so she could have a life as in, he sucked too many years from her.. he wanted her to be angry and walk away..

    The video is interesting.

    Showed an older woman with a boy in most of the scenes, and you get that he is singing about his mother.. and pretty much the same concept, he’s sobered and realized he had sucked her life dry and wanted her to hate him and go on without him.. but in the video, he’s going to a gravesite — so maybe he did that, but then she died.. and he never got a chance to say goodbye?

    Anyway, much like a puddle of mud video I once saw, the video changed the whole meaning of the song.

  87. I love the song. Who cares if you hate it or what it means to you. I’m sure it means something to Justin. If you don’t like it don’t listen to it. I think you sound like a baby whining- oh mommy turn it off, I don’t like that song. I love Justin- I’d fuck him- even if he is an ass.

  88. Crazy, thank you for sharing your passionate indifference to my opinion.

  89. I am 45 years old and have 6 kids and I am a Mormon. I think that someone just sounds alittle jelous that they do not have the creativity and insight to write lyrics like “Hate me” It was very clear to me what was being said. I think
    that anyone who has overcome any kind of addition, would understand what is being said. I personally haven’t had to deal with that kind of problem but I have someone close to me who has. The lyrics hit close to home. So sorry that you are not able to feel the spirit of what is trying to be said in this really great song. But maybe your lucky to not
    “get it”. By the way Do good things not Mean things! And if you can’t say somthing nice don’t say anything at all!
    Oh sorry thats just the MOM coming out in me!! I am a real fan of Blue October!! I am sure they would be soooo happy to know that.

  90. I’m a features writer, and most of my articles are about substance abuse, teen issues, suicide, hate, bullying, and so forth. I’ve just graduated from teenhood myself, so there’s still some angst residue somewhere in me. It’s why Hate Me has intrigued me in more ways than one. (I love trying to figure out the stories behind the songs myself, but I haven’t mustered the courage to put up a blog about it. He he he.)

    Anyway, kudos to you, Kevin, for the wit and humor of your de-construction, for the diplomatic honesty you’ve showed in dealing with those who disagree with you, and for your sincere sympathy to those who told of unpleasant personal experiences. Commenting on the song itself would take me hours, and I’d probably come up with an interpretation so long no one would bother to read beyond a couple of lines anyway. And besides, most of the comments captured my thoughts quite aptly.

    I’ll be sure to come back and read your other posts.

    -Shai, 21, Manila (Philippines)

  91. *Shai again. Grammar police in me says I should’ve put “shown” instead of “showed,” and “sympathy for” instead of “sympathy to.” Apologies.

  92. Thanks for the kind words Shai and no worries on the grammar.

  93. you are a freakin’retard you have no idea what you are talking about at least justin gets up every once and a while instead of sitting on his but like you lard butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if i could slap you through this screen i would but then i wouldn’t be able to get on the internet and listen to blue october your just jelous your not making money like justin you big fat lard face oh i’m sorry i mean your butt i get those two mixed up.

  94. I’m sorry i said those things i feel so bad about it now. every one is open to thier own oppinion
    p.s this isn’t the mom of the family

  95. My husband a lard butt? You have no idea. This man does not know the idea of sitting down. He runs almost daily, works his butt off (and he is an excellent provider, I do not need to work) and then helps me with our 3 kids 3 and under ALL THE TIME. You’d be lucky to be married to a man like him. There isn’t an ounce of fat on his body- can’t run under 7 minute miles and be fat! Funny how you commented to do good things, not mean things, then decided to post just that. Well, I’ll be Christlike and turn the other cheek. I won’t comment about your life. Kevin’s post was an opinion and it is what it is.

  96. So ya I know everyones entitled to their own opinion but your a fuckin ass hole.
    everybody writes songs about different things and they word them is different ways, and
    just because your too stupid to understand the complexity of Justin’s (the lead singers)
    lyrics, doesnt mean you can hate on this song. I would absolutely love to watch to try
    to write a song nearly as genious as this one, or any of Blue October’s other songs for
    that matter, so when you can, which you wont, then you can hate on it.

  97. Jessica, please clarify this for me. According to you, I am entitled to my own opinion (thanks BTW). However, you then tell me that I am not allowed to hate this song. So am I allowed to have an opinion or not? While we’re on the subject, it’s my opinion that you have a gigantic burr up your ass. Good luck with that.

  98. okay kevin, let me put it this way….people i like are allowed their own opinion…you my friend (cough cough) are not. and that gigantic burr is very comfy so thanks (cough cough) for your opinion.

  99. Jessica, does that mean you don’t like me?!?! I really thought we were developing a rapport, a real connection. I…I… just don’t understand. BTW you should have that cough checked out. I’d hate to lose a loyal reader to bronchitis or something.

  100. kevin, thanks for your concern, but unfortunately for you i am fine. and ive never come out and said that i dont like you, i just basically dislike your opinions severely. and thats just my opinion. have a nice day 🙂

  101. Ahhh, Kevin, I’m sorry to say this but you get what you deserve on here. You chose to write badly about a band that is so loved by faithful fans (and not to mention the best fans ever, you should go to their website & have a look yourself @ We don’t just enjoy their music, we enjoy them because they are honest to us, work really hard to make sure we are satisfied and are so up close an personal. You writing this is just like picking on the cool kids little brother, the boy has connections. Next time chose your next make-fun-of-band/song to a song that NO body likes.

  102. “Next time chose your next make-fun-of-band/song to a song that NO body likes.”

    Translation, next time you decide to have an opinion make sure it’s really spineless and about something nobody cares about. Otherwise people might *suppresses involuntary shudder* disagree with you.

    SSoC, let the record reflect that your tremendous moral courage has been noted and is a shining example to us all.

  103. Hey….like what you like and hate what you hate….i just want everyone to know that his mom isn’t dead. claim to know so much but don’t even know that?? asshats! I like Blue October and have for some time, however this is probably one of my least favorite songs simply because radio and vh1 played it out too much. gotta love top 40 oversaturation! reading your blog stung just a teensy bit because i do like them but hey….opinions are like assholes right? so get on with your bad ass self!

  104. oh yeah….forgot to say i know she isn’t dead because that is her in the video….sorry to pop your bubble!

  105. You know how pathetic you people sound, arguing about one simple popular song like this? By the way Mazii, if you had truly listened to Blue October’s other albums, you’d know at least one of the band members was not “lacking in musical talent”. Not telling you who. Most of you people’s brains are too tiny to handle that kind of information.

  106. TSO, usually when someone announces themselves as smarter than everyone else, I prepare myself for an avalanche of stubborn, willful ignorance. Your comment serves as an excellent example why.

  107. TSO stands for Trans-Siberian Orchestra…

  108. this is by far one of the most hilarious blog i have read… i don’t really care for any ones opinion but it sure is funny… and you guys sure have a tona time to spare… enjoy


  109. Wow guys.. as a Blue October fan.. any over 40.. yes.. I enjoy their insighful music with my teenager..I thought maybe I’d provide this link to hopeful clear up some things for you about what the song is really about.

    Kevin, you are a funny guy.. I have to admit.. and wow.. you still get people riled up after 9 months.. !


  110. Opps.. meant “and over 40”

  111. Thanks for the kind words BlueMom and gk. TSO, you get an atta-boy for trying.

  112. you people are fucking insane

  113. Okay, I know I’m a few months behind here, but I can’t help myself. As a teenager myself, I have to admit, this song was quite good the first fifty two times I heard it…on the first day. But it did get old and quite frankly, I turn the station when I hear it now.

    However, this is Kevin’s blog where he can blog about whatever he wants. He can say “Wow. I love this song” or “OMG! This song blows!” and that’s okay, because this is his blog.

    Where do half of you guys get off getting your panties in a bunch because of someone’s opinion? Not everyone has to like this song or take the time to care what it’s about. I’m not sure if you all have realized that this is the internet, not some Nazi conformist organization where everyone has one mind.

    Kevin, great post. I love it. You have put a smile on my face with the few posts I’ve read so far. I look forward to reading much more from you.

    ~~~Another Sad Song~~~

  114. Thx A.S.S. glad you enjoyed it.

  115. The song is beyond gay. I was riding in the penismobile with Ace and Gary, and this song came on, and Ace was like “Damn, why’s that guy such a fag?”

    The singer is a whiny little bitch. His voice is grating in every single song of this band. I want to smash my radio with a hammer every time I hear this band. I’m just glad that there are other people who hate this song too.

    It doesn’t matter whether the subject of the song is his mother, his girlfriend, his wife, his daughter, or some skank he got head from in a bathroom stall. It is the whiny manipulative bullshit of a totally self-centered fuck-up.

    • Probably because the things he is saying makes you think about how it you have fucked over people as well. The truth brings out anger in people.

  116. While your interpretation of the song may be entertaining, the only true thing you said was he was selfish, which he admits himself, but not the reason you’re thinking. Justin said that this song was about his addictions and his mother was there for him. The answering machine message is an actual message from his mother, that’s his mother in the video. He said that when he heard that message on the machine from her, she hadn’t heard from him in a few months and hearing that was his wake-up call because he was in a very low place. Drug addictions are hard to overcome, and I know how that is because I’ve been addicted to cocaine and marijuana and alcohol before, and he’s thanking his mother for helping him and being there for him, which is what ANY good mother would do. I’m a mother of 2 children and I’d do ANYTHING I could to help them. So its not a guy being whiny it’s him talking about overcoming addictions and realizing how selfish he was when addicted and realizing what he put his mother through. So for anyone thinking it’s about his girlfriend, it’s not!!! All you have to do to understand the song is Google Hate Me Blue October song meaning.
    Like you, I grew up listening to Aerosmith, Nirvana, Guns n Roses, ZZ Topp, Lynrd Skynrd, Credence Clearwater Revival, Bob Segar, John Cougar Mellencamp, Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers, Blue Oyster Cult, Pink Floyd, Bon Jovi

  117. You’re fucking pathethic, you say you heard it to much then why didnt you switch the station. This song is a memorial to his mother, a song to honor her and apoligize to her spirit and you demoted it. I could understand the reason but still, you’re sick.

  118. You have the freedom to announce what you don’t like. I respect that, but maybe do some research before talking like you know what this song means? It’s for his mother. It’s his apology and when he’s saying to hate him he means that it’s better for her to keep him out of her life because he was fucked up. It’s basically an emotional purge. Atleast have respect for him putting all his shit out there and publically announcing how bad he was before cleaning himself up.

  119. Dude you seriously are misdirected what the song is about ..someone suffering from mental illness-Bipolar disorder and him realizing the pain it causes others in his life is not a whinefest. Do not criticize things you don’t understand. Educate yourself

  120. Well, considering the song is about his mom and how he wished he had treated her better, you look like the giant asshole now.

  121. Awesome deconstruction, dude. Song’s about Furstenfeld’s mother but that doesn’t detract from this being a very entertaining read. Thanks and keep posting.

  122. Actually, the song is about his mother. He even gives a break down for the lyrics. Clearly you’re biased and have dealt with too many assholes. But really, the song is about his mother and how he wishes she could hate him, because he’s done terrible things he knows he deserves it. So…

  123. it was great to read ur interpretation of the song I was havin a debate with my nephew when it came out and I googled it and it brought me here haha

  124. Wow I bet that took effort! You are cool!

  125. So I stumbled upon this and it is probably quite outdated but you are an absolute idiot and let me explain. The singer of blue October in hate me is singing about his mom he treated like shit while addicted to drugs and alcohol. And along with that she had to deal with his bipolar disorder. When he wants to block out thoughts of her its because he completely knows he did messed up shit through addiction and in his current state if he thinks about it he would go mad. They crawl in like cockroaches? Has nothing to do with sleeping with his moms friends? It has to do with the fact the thoughts leave bad things in his head while he sleeps. Playing things in my head that make a porno feel like home? He thinks of such messed up stuff he did it makes something even like a porno feel comfortable and warm. I think you honestly did this for hate comments. Do you understand the guy feels like shit? Do you understand that he has a severe mental disorder? I think you yourself has deep seeded issues for making a complete hate blog against this song.

    • 👍👍👍👍👍

  126. I think you’re a whining prick who can’t stand the radio, but can’t turn it off, because, if you did, you’d have to face your real world problems, which seems a little too heavy a task for you. Stop picking apart songs where someone poured their heart out on paper by creating your own meaning to lines that could be interpreted a thousand ways by a thousand people, yet you preach your opinions of the words like you’ve sat with the singer and asked him what it all meant. Someone get Charles Barkley in here so he can tell this “blogger” that he’s ‘turrible’.

    • Yes indeed

  127. I don’t k ow what the song writer really Intended.I can see truth j. Ma y of the Interpretations…about his mother….about an x girlfriend…but no one suggested the possibility that the song writer has borderline personality disorder which is offer misdiagnosed as bipolar. There are many clues to suggest it based on some comments such as coke or speed addictions, martyr like behavior, suicidal ideation, love me and I will run away, leave me so I can’t hurt you, etc. Its all there. Borderline is rarely diagnosed but it lends itself to the possibility IMO. That is also why it may trigger people who have survived the other side of it and see it as manipulation.

    • Sorry for all the typos…its late and I’m on The phone keyboard

    • your spot on

      • And on me birthday!!!

  128. Soooooooooo thanks for your comments that set people with mental illness back a 100 years or so. I’d like to say you’re a douche bag….probably an old ass one that was actually created by Lysol. (Google it…this happened) but a douche bag serves a purpose. You just blab about shit like you’re a expert and obvioisly believe you’re a superior human being.
    Don’t like the song? That’s fine…totally fine. Making fun of mental illness and addiction (that’s what and all you’re doing there ya twat, I think you may be too dim to realize it)…. Well mum must be proud she raised such a uncompassionate and hateful bully.

  129. Justin Furstenfeld (the singer, and writer of this song) reposted your breakdown, and a very thoughtful response on FB under the Blue October page if you’d like to read it. I also posted a link to this blog post for him as he didn’t know the author.

  130. I know this was posted way back in 2006, when the song was popular, but I thought I should share with you a couple things.

    1) The lead singer’s changed now. I’ve met the guy and he’s really nice and happy. He’s happily married and has a kid.

    2) He saw this and appreciated your take on his song. If I could pull up the link, I’d share it with you, but you opened his eyes a bit.

  131. From the lead singer Justin Furstenfeld 9/4/15:
    “I received this today and it literally made me smile. Seriously it made me take a look at my song (HATE ME ) actually it made me see how far I’ve come personally because most of this well thought out version of my song from 2006 is true. So I have to hand it to the person who actually took the time to break it down for everyone unfortunately I could only fit the first few lines [the picture he posted with this statement] but yes they gave me the whole song. In fact the person who sent it to me is a dear friend and it really rubbed them the wrong way so I really appreciate how much they care for the integrity of the song but I told them “stop and really think about it , the song is about how I was selfish , how I was cheating on women in my life , got to admit I was a very very bad boy who was very self absorbed and yes spinning this apology to suit my whiny needs . So in all fairness the fact that who ever wrote this took this much time to give it that much thought is such a compliment as well as truly reminded me of how much I am grateful for today. ” I said to them “please don’t be mad at anyone related to this post they are just speaking their minds and thank god we have a choice to embrace their opinions or simply go on with our lives. “. Unfortunately the person who posted it didn’t give me their name …..duh ….. Like why on earth would you take this much time to tell the world how much you hate something and then not give your name . Hmmm. Hahaha but either way …. TODAY I choose to see this as a gift ….. A gift reminding me how much sobriety and surrounding my self with living people and God has done for me. So please know that in the future this does nothing but make me want to say thank you.”

  132. Dude gtfo, if you don’t like the damn song, then don’t listen to it. Plain and simple. Actually going as far as “breaking down” what you call the “actual meaning of the song” shows that you’re obsessed with it.

  133. You’re kind of a fucking asshole, I know this was forever ago, but, what the hell!? You clearly do not understand this song! You are a JERK!

  134. You sir are a huge piece of shit and can’t appreciate musical art so you go and write bullshit to express yourself because you have nothing better to do. Maybe you should take a look at your life and reevaluate it since you took the time to bash such a skilled artist. Go eat a bowl of dicks.

  135. Did you know that the lead singer of Blue October posted this deconstruction on the bands official FB page and said it was amazingly accurate? And did you know that the people who love Blue October all agreed with him?

  136. A song can also take on a different meaning with life experience. I had my problems with drugs and mental illness, and the only person that was really there for me, holding my hands across the table in the hospital, was my mother. There were times that I didn’t talk to my mother for weeks, sometimes months, even after my recovery. Sadly, my mother passed away in December after a 13 year battle with cancer. Through all of it, she would never let me take care of her. Towards the end, I had a conversation with my mother, sitting across from her at the kitchen table. I told her that I would do anything for her, even if it meant quitting my job and moving back home so I could take care of her. During that conversation, she told me that her only regret was that life has been so hard for me. She said this while struggling to breathe assisted with oxygen after taking morphine to help with the pain. I wish she would have let me do more for her as she did for me all these years. This song really, really hits home for me now. Bottom line, don’t ever take your mother for granted.

  137. I know this post is old as dirt. The author has the right to opinion and they did play the mess out of this song on the radio but dang, did someone in the band bang your girlfriend?

    Song is focused to his mom.



    King of the turds

    Unite the Turdies

    I am the turd commander

    Piece of poop.


  138. The person who wrote this is obviously an Ignorant fool who obviously doesn’t understand the struggles of mental/emotional breakdowns and how it can effect your life.

    • Its about his mom seeing him almost die bc he overdosed and the die his mom died he was at home too high to answer the phone. so stop talking trash on him. Try having something like that in ur head.

  139. Douche Canoe.

  140. My dear, I have surmised from your posts that you need a lot of attention. Do all these angry posts do it for you? Those who can, create. Those who can’t, destroy. You seem to be quite angry about a song. Maybe you should give that some thought. That being said, I have had quite a few addicts in my life and I can assure you that they have all been duplicitous dicks. Never being sorry until it is to late. To me personally, the song rings true. Maybe give yoga or meditation a try, helps with the angst.

  141. Well your a fucking dumb ass its about his mother! You didnt know that but you think you know everything else eh!! As you probs listen to red hot chilli peppers or some gay shit like that! Can play a song on your guitar so you know everything!! Haha you stupid fuck! Everything you said there just makes me think your trynna date you mother you faggot

  142. This song is about his mother not some girl he stalks. maybe don’t be baised because your dating the wrong people.

  143. Fucking dick head….. thoughts in his head are about mental illness. LEARN MORE ABOUT AN ARTIST AND THE SONG before you blast. Bet you HATE ME that it went soooooo high on the charts! Lol Dumb ass! Go fuck yourself and do research!

  144. I know this is 10 years old, but the songs about his mom not some chick.

  145. It’s too funny that ten years after the original post, people are still getting it wrong. First, Justin has said for years this was a selfish song, the beginning having been written for his girlfriend, and the rest for his mother, and that it was about how he treated everyone while struggling with drug addiction. He admits it was shallow, selfish and needy, and simply states that was the place he was at back then. He has reached long term so I now, is remarried with two small children with his wife, has visitation with his older daughter, goes to church and is sober and grateful to be alive.

    His mother is absolutely not dead. Watch some of the videos for the newest album “Home”, and you clearly see her in footage throughout.

    As a recovering addict, the song always hits me in a raw place that will never fully healed (some guilt you just have to own and carry because you earned it), and I absolutely adore the song, the band and the lead singer. But who cares if someone else doesn’t? To me, that doesn’t take away at all from what I get out of listening to his music. Unless y’all are personal friends and have been told by Justin, himself, that he is hurt and offended (obviously he’s not) by this post, then why do y’all care what someone does or doesn’t think about the song that came out more than a decade ago?

    I believe Justin has said to appreciate the effort and time taken by the original poster, and I believe he would say to appreciate the fact that as a free society we are able to post about our opinions…popular or otherwise….and that life is about learning and growing from your struggles. He is all about positivity, growth and change now, so maybe he is able to look back and understand why someone might not love the song. To me, it’s one of the most meaningful I’ve ever heard, but that’s just my opinion.

    Ten years on and y’all are still ranting about this. To the OP: I don’t agree with your evaluation, but I do support your right to express it. Hope you’ve enjoyed the debate for the last ten years! BTW, I do appreciate your wit, even though I disagree with you. See, people CAN respectfully disagree, FFS.

    • I apologize for my typos. I meant that he’s reached long term sobriety. I screwed up somewhere else, too, so I apologize. To the OP, you’ve got the patience of Job, not losing your mind about the incessant inanity from some of these critics.

  146. Honestly being a fan of this band and this being one of my favorite songs,reading this angers me. He wrote this song for his mom after she died. He’s saying he’s sorry for everything he put her through and that he regrets it and how he thinks it would have been better for her to hate him instead of going through all the pain she went through while he was addicted to drugs. But that he appreciates everything she did for him as a mother.

  147. I found this while searching for other lyrics for Blue October. I imagine 12 years ago when you wrote this that you are in a different part of your life just as Justin is a different part in his life now. He has 6 years sober and he did turn his life around. His songs have grown in his life as they are a like a diary just as your blog is to you. I can’t imagine taking the lyrics to any song and breaking them down sentence by sentence like you did and over analyzing them and then critizing them. This is like calling the kettle black. Your post is whining about a man whining and taking time to do this is signs of mental issues yourself. I hope you haven’t done this for every song you have ever heard or tried to understand the ramblings of some of music written today. You mentioned that you have a full time job and 3 children…I hope you are giving them as much attention as you did to disecting this song. You could have turned the station if you didn’t like the song like most people do but then that wouldn’t achieved the negative attention you werw seeking by writing this post. Now who is being manulipative? Doesn’t seem like you were too far from being Justin back then yourself.

    • Revised due to it froze up and was not finished. I apologize for the double post.

  148. I found this while searching for other lyrics for Blue October. I imagine 12 years ago when you wrote this that you are in a different place in your life just as Justin is a different place in his life now. He has 6 years sober and he did turn his life around. His songs have grown in his life as they are a like a diary just as your blog is to you. I can’t imagine taking the lyrics to any song and breaking them down sentence by sentence like you did and over analyzing them and then critizing them. This is like calling the kettle black. Your post is whining about a man whining and taking time to do this is signs of mental issues yourself. I hope you haven’t done this for every song you have ever heard or tried to understand the ramblings of some of music written today. You mentioned that you have a full time job and 3 children…I hope you are giving them as much attention as you did to disecting this song. You could have turned the station if you didn’t like the song like most people do but then that wouldn’t achieved the negative attention you were seeking by writing this post. Now who is being manulipative? Doesn’t seem like you were too far from being Justin back then yourself. But what is an opinion…mine nor yours matters. He is the one making money off of his.

  149. Oblivious

  150. First of all fuck you. Your just doing your shitty interpretation of the song. What you “de-constructed” is wrong. He is apologizing for his actions. He even gives his mother credit for helping with his addiction.. go fuck yourself

  151. What disgusting pervert did you have to perform oral sex on in order to have your review of Blue October’s “Hate Me” featured on the first page of google while searching thr band/song? The vocals, melody, lyrics, meaning, video of Hate Me is a song so popular and therefore most likely on continuous rotation on irritating radio stations like 102.7 KIIS FM in Cali. They love to take 10 songs and loop the same playlist on a daily basis for many weeks before adding to new songs to the list and repeat the same patter with a new list of songs. That isn’t any band’s FAULT. Your review is something I skimmed through and refused to give it my actually focus and attention. You are mmature, ignorant, self-righteous, and have a pathetic sense of humor and poorly executed. It is neither clever or funny and quite embarrassing your words forming such stupid thoughts and ideas that no human on the planet gives two shits of your opinion but who are you? Nobody. A whiner. Critical. Miserable. Shallow. Bitter. Falsely think you can analyze the heart, thoughts, and feelings of another person, when in reality human beings are much more complicated and uniquely different and separate from yourself. Your brain, personality, life experiences involving both heartbreak, euphoria, victories, failures, relationships with family and friends and strangers are ALL YOUR OWN EXERPEINCES AND RESPONSES AND FEELINGS AND REACTIONS because it is your life alone and you are the only you who exists past, present, and future. So, back the hell off and humble yourself. Grow up and be a man. Get off social media and live an actual life doing something other than wasting space and do something making your life valuable and learn how to be there for people without bringing your pre-conceived judgements and boxes to stuff them in with a giant label you stick across the person as though you have them all figured out. Your analysis of other people painfully prove how you a false image of your own character and abities. You are not not nearly as intuitive, insightful, empathtic, understanding, intelligent or accurate about other people’s artistic gift of music to say the least. Wake up. Be a man before opening your mouth again. Stop sounding like such an a hole that you give people like me a disgusted look on my face and wasting my life saying all of this because I dont care for you, nor do you care what I think. I just couldn’t stop. I just really want blatant, harsh TRUTH slapping that mouth that has probably uttered too many wasteful, false, negative words since you could say Mama and Dada. I wish someone would put you in your place. I don’t like you. I don’t hate you, of course. Have a blessed rest of your life. Take care.

  152. Whoever did this is a fuckin idiot 😂 I’ve never read something so stupid and ridiculous in my life! Please dude like you don’t have anything better to do 😂😂✌🏼

  153. And heres an explination of why the worlds round.

    Correct your statemenrt in 10 yrs
    I’ll wait 9

  154. 12 years later and you still suck for this kevin….

  155. Been subscribed to all comments on this post for the last 7 years. Thank you all for the outrage I’ve found in my inbox.

  156. First of all look into the history of the song. This song is about fighting his addiction not being asshole, ashole

  157. Wow… I’m not sure you understand or could put yourself in someone else’s place. Kinda seems like your the jerk.

  158. Hey Kevin, you’re still a fucking idiot, and it’s 2019. How do you feel about that? This is one of the stupidest things I’ve ever read. Nice misinterpretation of the lyrics, you pretentious butt clown. You obviously don’t know anything about music, and your opinion is fucking gay.

  159. You’re clearly the fucked up one if this is how you read these lyrics. Justin is a lyrical genius as far as I’m concerned and thank God you’re just a wannabe and now a hasbeen… Being you who wrote YOUR interpretation of the lyrics says so much about who you are. Are you insulted? If you say no you should be, I can imagine that many people have said these thing’s about you. So what? You had to take an amazing bands song to bash to express who you are? That’s absolutely pathetic! I hope you have grown the hell up by now and have a small clue of what this song actually means.

  160. You are a ignorant asshole. This is about his mother

  161. This writing is annoying. And it just took one read.

  162. For those uninformed most mental disorders involve self medicating. AKA addictions. Dealing with a ex friend that has a sick NPD disorder involving snorting Adderall. so the deconstruct is spot on for those with power and control issues for the lack of self esteem, worth , and lack of empathy. They hoover and stalk even though they block you can cut off, labeled as punishment for not obeying their wishes for control. They want your strength, courage, confidence , sex , and relationship till they are bored with you and seek another source. If they can’t find another they fake scenarios to lure you back into their life. Even things as just noticing heir self destructive behaviors.

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